I'm not in a terribly good state at the moment, but came across Katrina Berne's website, which I found comforting in some ways.
And I found another great funny video from Top Gear. Car v dog. If you're not that interested in the car stuff, you need to access it just before the 5 minute mark to watch the race.
I was never interested in cars, but when I had to choose my Motability car I suddenly found cars can be interesting! My Renault Grand Scenic is great - can sit upright in it, and John loves to drive it. Am sad to say I never have driven it. Had a traumatic near escape while on the way to have an "easy" drive round Sefton Park that really scared me. I haven't driven since, and hadn't for over a year anyway. 
Maybe I'll get back into driving again once the weather is better. I don't want to lose it. I loved driving.
Friday, March 16, 2007
chronic illness
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I had planned to learn to drive, and was saving up for it when I got ill - ended up spending the money to see me through the months it took to get the benefits sorted out. I guess in a lot of ways that makes it easier for me, as I was never reliant on a car.
But while there's a bit of me that would like to drive, it gets firmly sat on by the bit of me that feels it would be incredibly irresponsible. My muscles aren't reliable, my co-ordination is shot, I have frequent lapses of concentration, severe headaches which regularly cause vision problems, and sometimes I pass out.
That is no state in which to pilot a ton and a half of metal and glass, filled with lovely flammable upholstery not to mention several gallons of fuel, at a speed greater than walking pace in an environment where there are other people, and other drivers, all relying on me being on the ball and fit to drive. If I have so much as five seconds of not feeling 100%, I could easily cause an accident in myriad ways.
I'll cheerfully risk my own life and limb (to an extent!) in order to have a convenient lifestyle, but not other people's.
I get terrified when I go to an ME meeting and people drive themselves. They get TO the meeting just fine, but after two hours we're all half-dead and then, in that state, they get into their cars to drive home. Eek.
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